Britain’s railways, the NHS, the education secretary’s dignity – is there anything the Tories won’t flog off for a bit of cash? A morning jog with Nicky Morgan followed by a “hearty breakfast” (a recalcitrant comprehensive school served with bacon and eggs, perhaps) may not appeal. There’s always a “mini-Iron Man-style” 10k cross-country run with Iain Duncan Smith, which is probably a pilot scheme for a new daily regimen for benefit claimants. Or there’s shoe shopping with Theresa May, although this cruel and unusual abuse may have to wait until she has finally scrapped the Human Rights Act.
The revelations about the Tory auction at Grosvenor House, published on Buzzfeed, are amusing but probably not very surprising. Britain’s booming rich have a taste for many things: fine wines, yachts, country mansions – but this season’s must-have accessory is a political party. That awful embarrassment of the financial sector plunging the country into economic disaster could have led to all sorts of unseemly demands for tax hikes on the über-rich. A wise investment, then, to back a party that continually reminds us that the nation’s ills are down to benefit claimants, immigrants and public sector workers.
Related: Conservative donors pay up to £15,000 for table at election fundraiser
Our economic elite keep the Conservatives afloat because they expect a return
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